


Swimming in Cages

by GovernorKristique



Series: Acquiescence [9]
Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:14:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28760130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GovernorKristique/pseuds/GovernorKristique
Summary: Franky's worried about what happened to Jodie in the slot, and turns to Bea for help. Some unexpected news puts a wrench in Joan and Jodie's escape plan. After all, secrets never stay buried.
Relationships: Joan Ferguson/Jodie Spiteri
Series: Acquiescence [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2050788
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

Jodie gasped for breath as her body quivered in the aftershock of a dizzying orgasm. She slowly sat up and pulled Joan close, lightly licking her essence from the older woman’s lips. She kissed Joan gently, and pulled away with an adorably lazy smile on her face. “I can’t wait to spend forever with you,” she said sweetly as she cupped Joan’s cheeks in her hands. Joan smiled warmly and covered Jodie’s hands with her own, slowly pulling them away and lacing her fingers through Jodie’s. “Soon my darling, and it may need to be sooner than we planned,” Joan said quietly. “Well that’s great isn’t it?” Jodie grinned. Joan sighed, “my dearest, we will need to be careful for the next few days. Ms. Bennett was just here, and saw us together,” Joan revealed. Jodie’s eyes widened in panic as she looked towards the door. “What?! I didn’t notice her, what the fuck…” Jodie said nervously. Joan bit her lip and playfully twirled a strand of Jodie’s hair. “It’s a mystery how you missed it, I suppose you were otherwise engaged,” Joan said playfully. “Not to worry my angel. Let me worry about Vera, and you keep to yourself these next few days. Vera will not ruin this for us. I promise,” Joan said tenderly, caressing Jodie’s knees. “In the meantime, I think it’s best that we keep our distance until we break you out. There’s no need to arouse suspicion. We only need to make it a few days more, and we’re free,” Joan smiled as she kissed Jodie’s forehead. “I understand,” Jodie offered a half smile. “Now get dressed sweet girl. The next time I see you, we’ll be ascending into the air,  _ Angelika, _ ” Joan purred. “Je t’aime,  _ Zara _ ,” Jodie whispered. She hopped off the desk and gathered her clothing, getting dressed as Joan watched fondly. Jodie hugged Joan tightly, as the older woman inhaled the sweet scent of her hair. “Joan what if something goes wrong?” Jodie mumbled into her chest. “Nothing is going to happen to you Jodie. I promised you I would free us of this place, and I will keep that promise. No matter what happens,” Joan whispered softly. “Okay,” Jodie whispered and tossed her arms around Joan’s neck, pulling her close for a desperate and passionate kiss. “I love you Jodie,” Joan whispered. “I love you too,” Jodie responded, not wanting to let go. As she held one of Jodie’s hands, Joan used the other to grab her radio, calling for Ms. Miles to escort Jodie back to her unit. Linda opened the door a few seconds later.”Let’s go Spiteri,” Ms. Miles said. “A bientot ma cherie,” Joan whispered, allowing her fingers to fall away from Jodie’s. Jodie smiled with a twinkle in her eye as she left the Governor’s office.

\---

Jodie flew under the radar undetected for the next two days as Bea rampantly interrogated the women to find out who had attacked her. Jodie was getting annoyed as Franky constantly asked her what the Governor had done to her in the slot. She hadn’t seen Joan in days, and all she could do was trust that their escape plan was coming together and that Joan would come to her when the time was right. She lay in her bed reading a book when she heard her cell door open and close quickly with a slam. Bea and Franky stood at the food of her bed, and Bea looked like she was trying to withhold a burning anger. “I know it was you that shivved me Jodie,” she stated. Jodie opened her mouth to defend herself, but didn’t get the chance to. “And I’m not mad. It was Ferguson who put you up to it, wasn’t it?” she said, looking at Jodie expectantly. As the colour drained from her face, Jodie sat on her hands to keep herself from scratching. “Look just tell us what she did to ya, we want to help,” Franky said. “I can’t,” Jodie cried as she braced herself for a bashing that never came. She tried to channel Joan’s ruthlessness, but she wasn’t built for violence. She would do anything to run away with the older woman, but her guilty conscience still tormented her. Instead of bashing her, Wentworth’s top dog resorted to methods that were far more cruel. “Jodie, I know you didn’t decide yourself to shiv me. The Freak clearly manipulated you into doing it, and I want to know how,” Bea asserted. Jodie wiped her tears on the back of her sleeve and sighed. “I can’t. I’m sorry,” she said in a tiny voice. “Right then. Well until you’re willing to talk, I’m putting you on a diet of oxygen and water,” Bea spat. “Bea-” Franky tried to interject. “Jodie you tried to fucking stab me, and here I am trying to help you,” the redheaded woman said angrily. “Bea, please I...it was a mistake. I’m sorry!” Jodie cried. “Yeah? Well that’s too bad isn’t it?” Bea said as she crossed her arms, turning to look at Franky. “She doesn’t sleep either. You take the first shift,” Bea commanded as she spun on her heel and left. Franky sighed and nodded, and got comfortable sitting cross-legged at the bottom of Jodie’s bed. “Franky please don’t let her do this,” Jodie whispered. “Sorry Jodes. We’re trying to help ya. It’s for your own good mate,” Franky offered an apologetic smile. Jodie leaned back against the wall and buried her face in her hands, trying not to panic. _ It’s just a few more days. You can do anything for a few days. _

\---

“How have you been doing Jodie?” Bridget Westfall asked. Jodie widened her eyes to try and stay awake. She hadn’t eaten or slept in the past day and a half, and her head was swimming. “I’m fine, how’re you?” she said quietly. “Good, thank you for asking,” Bridget smiled warmly. “The reason I called you in today, is that the police would like to come in tomorrow morning and interview you about your father’s death. I know that might be difficult for you, so I thought we could spend some time together coming up with some strategies you can use to address any challenging emotions that might come up,” Bridget said kindly. Jodie furrowed her brow in confusion. “Why do they want to talk to me now? He killed himself months ago,” she stated. Bridget uncrossed her legs to give Jodie a more open body language. “Well, unfortunately it seems like the police think it might not have been a suicide,” Bridget disclosed gently. “That’s all I can say for now. I will be at the interview so I’ll be able to support you throughout,” Bridget concluded. Jodie slowly nodded. “Isn’t this the sort of thing the Governor would handle?” Jodie wondered aloud. Bridget sighed and took a sip of water. “Normally, yes. But given Ms. Ferguson and your mother are good friends, they thought it would be best if she wasn’t involved, and I agreed. Just to make sure the process is unbiased. And Jodie…” Bridget smiled uncomfortably. “I’ve become aware of a rumour...that the Governor may have used some inappropriate means of discipline when you were in the slot. Is that true?” Bridget asked softly. Jodie gave Bridget a confused look and shook her head. “That’s a lie. Did  _ Franky _ tell you?” Jodie sneered, remembering the time Joan had let the secret of Franky and Ms. Westfall’s relationship slip over breakfast one morning. Taken aback, Bridget smiled tightly, “I cannot disclose what the other women discuss in their sessions with me. But it appears some of your friends are worried about you Jodie,” Bridget said. “Yeah Franky’s a great fucking friend…” Jodie muttered under her breath. “Can I go now,  _ Ms. Westfall _ ?” she rolled her eyes. Bridget sighed in defeat. “Of course. But Jodie please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need anything before tomorrow morning. Try to get some sleep, I’m sure Nurse Atkins would be happy to give you something to help. You look exhausted,” Bridget said gently. “Kay, thanks,” Jodie huffed as she left the office. 

\----

Jodie’s hand shook as she dialed the numbers on the phone. Her stomach was aching with hunger, and she wasn’t sure if she could make it until Thursday’s escape. “Hello?” Lisa answered. “Mum, it’s me,” Jodie said quietly. “Jodie! Are you okay? You haven’t called in over a week. Is Joan looking out for you?” Lisa asked. “Yeah I’m fine. But apparently the cops want to interview me about dad’s death. They said they think it’s not a suicide,” she whispered. Lisa sighed on the other end of the phone. “They came to the house this morning love. Apparently they received an anonymous tip from someone insisting it was a homicide. Whoever it was called from a payphone downtown, so they couldn’t trace the caller. How are you feeling about them interviewing you sweetie?” Lisa asked gently. “Fine I guess. Seems pointless to me though, if they didn’t find any evidence at the house then why would they start investigating now?” Jodie wondered. “I think they have to respond to any tips they get, even if they’re false. Don’t worry baby, it’s just a formality. Your father could be a difficult man to deal with but as far as I know there wasn’t anyone who would have wanted to hurt him. I’m sure this will be put to rest after the police speak to you” Lisa asked. “Of course. I miss you mum. Will you come visit me tomorrow?” Jodie said as tears welled in her eyes. “I’m in rehearsal all day tomorrow baby. How about I come see you on the weekend?” Lisa said gently. Jodie’s chest tightened. Joan was breaking her out Thursday night. “Um...I really miss you mum. Can you please just try and come tomorrow? Please…” Jodie asked as she wiped the tears from her cheek. “Oh sweetheart. I miss you too. Alright, I’ll do my best to cut out for a bit. I’m sorry Jodie, I’ve got to run. Try to get some sleep tonight and just remember to breathe, okay? The police just have to do their job, it’ll all work out fine,” Lisa said soothingly. Jodie nodded as she clutched the receiver. “Okay, I will. I love you mum,” Jodie whispered. “Love you too baby. Stay safe in there,” Lisa said before hanging up the phone.


	2. Chapter 2

“Hello Jodie, I’m Detective Ayoub. How’re you going?” the tall woman asked. Jodie stuffed her hands in the pockets of her hoodie. “I’m fine,” she responded quietly, trying to ward off the drowsiness. Bridget put an encouraging hand on her shoulder as Detective Ayoub pulled a file out of her briefcase. “Now Jodie, I’m here because the precinct received an anonymous tip. While we were able to record the call, whoever it was used a payphone downtown, so ultimately we couldn’t track down who it was. We’re still trying, but in the meantime we thought it best to move forward with investigating her claims. The caller claimed that your father, Sean Spiteri, died not from suicide, but was murdered,” the detective said gently. Jodie shook her head. “That’s not true,” she insisted. Detective Ayoub nodded as she opened her folder. “I understand this is difficult for you Jodie. Nevertheless it’s important that we investigate. Now I’d like to show you some photographs from the scene, and I’d like to ask you a few questions,” she said. Jodie’s chest tightened as she ran her hands underneath her sleeves and started scratching. Bridget gently took Jodie’s wrist and pulled her hand away. “With all due respect Detective, I don’t think Jodie is up for seeing images of her father. We’ve been working on some strategies together to help her grieve his death in a healthy way, and I’m sure you’ll agree it’s best to keep her on track. We don’t want to retraumatize her,” Bridget said gently. Jodie offered a tiny smile of gratitude at the psychologist. The detective nodded, “very well. In that case, would you be up for seeing a photograph of the weapon used in Sean’s death? Nothing graphic, just an image of the gun taken at the precinct,” Ayoub said. Jodie nodded and rubbed her eyes. “Yeah I can do that,” she said. “Alright, so this was the firearm located at the scene,” she said as she pushed the photograph towards Jodie. “Do you have any knowledge about your father owning a gun?” she asked. Jodie shook her head, “no, he didn’t as far as I know,” she said. “Okay, thank you. Now Jodie I want you to have a look at the firearm and tell me if you’ve seen it before,” Ayoub said. Jodie picked up the photo and stared at it. Her mouth opened slightly as she cocked her head to the side. She vaguely remembered seeing a similar piece in Joan’s glove compartment the night she picked her up from the party. But she was drunk and high then, and she was starving and exhausted now having not slept for two nights in a row. She pulled the photo closer, but really wasn’t sure if she recognized it. “Jodie?” Bridget prompted quizzically. “No, I haven’t seen it before,” Jodie swallowed as she pushed the photograph back across the table. “Are you sure? You seem...hesitant,” the detective said. “I’m sure Detective,” Jodie asserted. But she wasn’t sure. She didn’t know much about firearms, but this one did look somewhat familiar. But how could she trust her suspicions? Between the grog, drugs, starvation, and lack of sleep, she had no idea if it was Joan’s gun, or if she was making it up. 

“Jodie are you okay? We can take a break if you need one,” Bridget offered soothingly. “I’m fine, just a little tired. I just want to get this over with,” Jodie said. Detective Ayoub nodded and pulled a laptop out of the briefcase. “Now Jodie, I’d like to play you the phone recording that we got from the anonymous caller. You can listen to it as many times as you need. I’d like you to see if you recognize the caller’s voice. She also describes someone she thinks is a possible suspect, but wasn’t able to give us a name. If anyone comes to mind, let me know and we can investigate from there,” the detective said. “Okay,” Jodie said softly. She raised her hand to her arm again, and Bridget took it and held it in hers instead, giving Jodie an empathetic look. “Thank you,” Jodie whispered. Bridget smiled encouragingly. “Ready?” the detective asked before playing the recording.

_ “North Melbourne Police Station,” _

“ _ Hi, I’m calling to report a murder,”  _ the caller said.

_ “Ma’am if you’re calling to report a murder, you need to call the emergency line. I’ll dispatch you to them now, what’s your location?” _ the police officer said.

_ “No wait! It’s about Sean Spiteri. He was killed months ago but you wrote it off as suicide, _ ” the caller insisted.

_ “Let me pull up the case file. Ma’am, do you have any evidence?” _

_ “Yes. The woman who killed him told me she did it. At his funeral.”  _ the girl on the other end of the call said nervously.

_ “Do you have a name?” _

_ “No. But I can tell you what she looks like. She’s tall, maybe 6 feet or so. Black hair, dark eyes. Has an...angry looking face if that makes sense.” _

_ “Alright, thank you,” _ the police officer said as he wrote down the information.  _ “But you don’t know who this woman is?” _

_ “No. If I say any more, she’ll kill me. Look I got to go. Please look into this,” _ the girl said as she hung up the phone.

Jodie tightened her grip on Bridget’s hand as her heart pounded. “Jodie, it looks like you’re having a reaction of some kind. Do you know who the caller is?” the detective asked.  _ Vicky Kosta _ , Jodie thought. “No, I...I don’t know. Don’t recognize her voice. Sorry,” she stammered. “Jodie you can tell us if you do. We’re only trying to get to the bottom of this. We want to help,” Ayoub said. Jodie shook her head as the tears welled in her eyes. “Detective I think Jodie might simply be upset. After all, until yesterday we had been working through accepting her father’s suicide. With this new information, it’s understandable if Jodie’s feeling overwhelmed,” Bridget said cautiously as she watched Jodie with suspicion. The detective nodded. “Fair enough. What about the suspect the caller described? Tall, dark hair, dark eyes. Does that description match anyone you know?” the detective pressed. “Nah. Sorry” Jodie shook her head as she tapped her foot. The detective sighed and closed the laptop. “Thank you for your help today Jodie. If we find anything we will let you know,” she said. “Right thanks. Can I go?” Jodie asked. The detective nodded and allowed Bridget and Jodie to leave. Jodie walked briskly, trying to make it back to her cell before the tears started flowing. “Jodie wait!” Bridget quickened her pace to catch up to the young prisoner. She grabbed her bicep and leaned in close. “Jodie I know that was overwhelming for you, but you were clearly reacting to something. You can talk to me if you know something,” Bridget said gently. “Bridget I told you, I don’t know anything!” Jodie huffed. Bridget put her hands on Jodie’s shoulders and stared into her eyes. “Jodie...I know there was something going on between you and Ferguson. At least there was when you started coming to see me a few years ago. That description sounded an awful lot like her, so if anything happened-” Jodie shrugged Bridget’s hands away and looked angrily at the psychologist. “Nothing happened! Now can I get back to my unit Ms. Westfall? I’m fucking exhausted,” she said, raising her voice. Bridget sighed and nodded. “Take care of yourself Jodie, and please remember my door is always open,” she said quietly.


	3. Chapter 3

Jodie laid in her bed, crying into her pillow as she processed everything that just happened. Why would Joan kill her father? How could the woman she loved do something so terrible? How could she continue on in their relationship as if nothing happened? Was she making it up, overanalyzing things? It could’ve been a coincidence. It could’ve been someone else. It  _ must  _ have been someone else. 

Franky opened Jodie’s door and sat down beside her. “Jodes? What’s happened?” she asked softly, gently caressing Jodie’s shoulder. “Nothing! Just leave me alone Franky,” Jodie exclaimed through heaving breaths. “Jodie just tell me what she did to ya. You’re torn up about it! I know she’s scary as fuck but Bea and I will protect ya, promise,” Franky assured. Jodie didn’t respond, and buried her face in her pillow as her heart broke into tiny, fragmented pieces. Bea arrived at the door with a cup of tea. “What’s the matter with Jodie?” she asked sternly. “Won’t say,” Franky replied. Jodie turned to lie on her side and shot Bea a furious look. “Please just let me sleep. Just for a little while. I’m so tired,” she stammered as her bottom lip quivered. Franky winced and looked to Bea with a pleading look in her eye. The top dog shook her head and put the mug down on Jodie’s table. “Not until you tell us what the Freak did to you in the slot. Drink the tea. It’s caffeinated,” Bea said as she left, slamming the door behind her. 

\---

Five days. It had been five days since Jodie had eaten or slept, and she felt like she was losing her mind. Everything in her field of vision either moved too slowly, or too fast. Everything sounded louder. Her body felt sensitive to any type of stimulation, she jumped at the softest of touches or quietest of sounds. She felt nauseous and empty all the time. Her mind was constantly racing, trying to make sense of what happened in the interview with the police two days ago. As much as she doubted herself and as much as she wanted to believe it couldn’t be true, the voice on the police recording was undoubtedly Vicky’s. The photo of the gun resembled Joan’s too closely. What she didn’t know, was  _ why _ Joan had killed her father. Jodie sat on her bed, crying as she rocked herself back and forth. Franky watched her empathetically, offering a little smile or a gentle caress of her leg every once in awhile. “Jodes it’s been 5 days. You know Red isn’t going to relent until you tell her what happened…” Franky said gently. Jodie nodded as the anger she desperately tried to suppress seized her fragile heart. She didn’t want to subject Joan to a life sentence, but she did want to punish her. “Okay. I’ll talk to her,” Jodie said, defeated as she watched her future with Joan slip away. Franky smiled and nodded, offering Jodie her hand to help her up. “Just tell her the truth, yeah? It’ll work out fine,” she said as she led Jodie to Bea’s cell. “Red?” Franky knocked at the door. “Jodie has something to say”.

“Well, it started when I was in the slot. She started coming in the middle of the night. She took me to this room, it was...dark? I don’t know where it was,” Jodie started. “She hit me. She slapped me. She choked me…” tears welled in Jodie’s eyes as she remembered the time Joan lost control of herself, nearly strangling Jodie to death. Her heart pounded as she fondly remembered the way Joan used verbal humiliation in the bedroom, forcing her to repeat things.  _ You’re a little slut, aren’t you Jodie? Say it! You’re mine, and only mine. Yes Mistress, always yours. Only yours! _ Flashes of her father yelling and screaming at her invaded her mind. “And she made me say things, repeat things,” Jodie stammered. “Like what?” Franky asked gently. “She said that I was worthless. That I was pointless. That I was nothing,” Jodie cried as she began scratching. “Stop,” Franky reached for her hands and held them in her own. “Did she do anything else?” Bea pried. Jodie nodded and stood up. She unzipped her hoodie and pulled her t-shirt over her head. She tossed her teal pants away and stood in front of Bea and Franky in her underthings. “She would scratch me...bite me…touch me” Jodie trailed as she ran her fingertips over the various bruises and markings Joan left on her skin. Bea’s mouth fell open as Jodie turned around and lowered her knickers underneath her arse, exposing a smattering of yellow and purple bruises. “Jesus Christ,” Franky exclaimed. “Jodes we have to report this to the ombudsman!” she urged. Jodie pulled up her knickers and turned around. “I can’t Franky. You don’t know what she’s capable of...what she’ll do to me,” Jodie whispered as tears fell down her face. “Here” Bea passed Jodie her pants. “Jodie we will protect you. Ferguson won’t be able to get close to you. We’ll be with you throughout the entire process. Mr. Fletcher seems to think the board’s been looking for a reason to sack the Freak anyway. We have to report this for the good of the women,” Bea asserted. Jodie zipped up her hoodie, put her hands in her pockets, and let out a sigh. “Alright. You’re right. I’ll do it,” she offered a tiny smile. “Great!” Franky flashed a grin. “Jodes do you want me to get ya some food or anything? Must be starvin’ at this point,” she offered. “Thanks Franky, but I think I just need to sleep,” she said quietly. “Right, well have a nap and I’ll be in my cell if ya need anything,” Franky offered before leaving. “Thank you for telling us Jodie. I’ll keep you safe,” Bea promised before closing the door behind herself and Franky. Once she was alone, Jodie smirked and congratulated herself for taking control. She no longer wanted to live a life of victimhood, and she shouldn’t. Joan taught her she deserved better than that. But as Jodie laid down, the sweetness of revenge faded just as quickly as it began. Jodie cried into her pillow as she hoped and prayed for sleep to give her refuge from the pain.


	4. Chapter 4

Joan walked down the hallway towards the office Channing had insisted on taking for himself at Wentworth. Before she could reach the door, she noticed the blinds were open, and the window was visible. Jodie and Bea Smith were sitting with the ombudsman. Joan’s mouth opened a little in confusion as Bea gave her a menacing glare. Jodie followed Bea’s gaze, and looked up at Joan. Joan subtly cocked her head to the side in curiosity, trying to get a read on her sweet angel’s face. But she came up empty. After a pause that felt like an eternity, Jodie slowly rolled her gaze up and down the Governor’s body. She met Joan’s gaze, and her brown eyes seared into the dark irises of her lover. She clenched her jaw, trying to keep the tears welling up in her eyes from falling. Joan uncomfortably looked off to the side, and walked away from the office, feeling trapped in an apprehensive confusion. She made her way back to her own office, lining up her pencils and listening to the classical music of her childhood, trying to abolish her anxious thoughts. She opened her desk drawer and pulled out the folder with their travel documents in it. She stared at Jodie’s and admired the photograph of her beautiful girl. After an abrupt knock at the door, she shoved the folder away and invited the person in. “Mr. Channing,” she greeted him through gritted teeth. “Joanie,” he responded with a tormenting smile. “It appears Jodie Spiteri has made quite the allegations against you,” he claimed, clearly celebrating the incident. “Is that so? And what, may I ask, is Ms. Spiteri accusing me of?” she asked, smiling tightly. Derek exhaled and rested his palms on her desk, towering over her. “Quite a few allegations actually. Claims you tortured her. She’s accused you of all forms of abuse. Verbal. Physical. Sexual,” he jeered. “Ah. I see,” she replied calmly. While she hated her father for everything he did, she was silently grateful she had (mostly) mastered the ability to mask her emotions in times of distress. “Well, I expect there will be an investigation? A hearing soon, perhaps?” she inquired. “The hearing’s been scheduled for next week. You are to have no contact with the prisoner until then. All of your staff will be informed to ensure your compliance. In the meantime Joanie…” Derek trailed, “I’d watch your back,” he taunted before leaving the office. “Have a lovely evening Mr. Channing,” she drawled.

Once she was alone, she went into her private bathroom and closed the door right before she could no longer resist the urge to cry. She released her tresses from the suffocatingly tight bun, threw off her tie and jacket, and unbuttoned her shirt. She sank against the wall, sitting on the floor burying her head in her hands.  _ What happened? Why would she do this? _ Joan tortured herself obsessing over anything she could have said or done wrong. In 30 hours from now, she was supposed to be boarding a plane with Jodie to France. She stood up and looked at herself in the mirror, her eyes stinging red. She thought she looked older. She grabbed a tissue and dried her eyes.  _ Pull it together Ferguson _ , she thought, thankful that her father had yet to make an appearance. She pulled her jacket back on and adjusted her tie, choosing to leave her hair down as she grabbed her clear plastic tote and left her office. When she got to the exit, she flipped through the visitor’s log for the week. She furrowed her brow when she saw that Detective Ayoub had visited Jodie Spiteri a few days ago.  _ Why wasn’t I informed about this?  _ She wondered for a quick moment before the image of Sean Spiteri’s body crashing into the kitchen chair came flooding through her mind. Her hands started shaking as she put the pieces together. “Y’alright Governor?” Mr. Fletcher asked suspiciously. Joan ignored him and stalked out of the prison, driving home at record speed.

Joan entered her apartment and wrestled herself out of the uniform jacket. She tossed her keys and wallet on the sideboard and kicked her heels away. She smacked her fist against the wall, cursing herself for what she had done. The tears felt like acid on her cheeks as she heaved urgent breaths, trying to stop herself from losing it. Her eyes settled on her unnamed goldfish, swimming innocently around his bowl without a care in the fucking world. As her breathing settled, she picked up the bowl and smashed it to the ground, enjoying a small hint of satisfaction as her destructive nature took hold. She paused for a moment, overwhelmed by the painful and angry burning in her soul that desperately needed to be released. She reached for the wine glasses and serving pitcher to her left, smashing them off the counter. In a rage, she stomped to her utensils drawer and opened it. Angrily tossing them around was all she could do to keep from turning the sharp objects on herself. She let out a deep scream of anguish as the powerful urge to destroy started to quell. Her eyes darted around the room looking for something else, anything else, to feed the monster caged behind her ribs. She picked up a bottle of vodka from her liquor cabinet and smashed it, immediately followed by a bottle of scotch. 

“Joan? Joan!” she heard her father call. She turned to face him as her voice began to shake, “no no no no no no” she cried. He held onto her as she sank to her floor, ignoring the excruciating pain of the broken glass piercing her knees. She sobbed in his arms as he caught her, guiding her to the ground and holding his arm across her chest. “I warned you Joan. This is what happens when you let emotions interfere” he said softly. “God...I’m a freak, I’m a freak, I’m a freak, I’m a freak, I’m a freak!” she repeated as she thrashed her head against his chest, trying to abolish the memories of her sins. Ivan shut his eyes tightly, trying to abandon his own emotional response to seeing his daughter in such pain. “No no no no you’re not a freak,” he said calmly, offering a rare moment of comfort as he stroked Joan’s hair. She took a shaky breath to calm herself as she tried to push away the heartbreak of knowing she was about to lose Jodie forever. “I am dad…” she said quietly, watching her goldfish twitch as his body slowly lost all forms of life. As she found herself wishing she could take the goldfish’s place, a quiet calm washed through her body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo shit's hit the fan! I promise this isn't the end of the story, and there's much more to come. Buckle up :)


End file.
